A Hunter, Osiris, and a Dirt Bike
by This Is Sarcasm
Summary: Exactly what is sounds like. Sagira thinks it would be awesome to get her Guardian on a dirt bike, in Simulant Past, with a Hunter, but NOOO; as per usual, he's no fun at all.


Osiris was beside himself.

Osiris was completely flustered, flabbergasted, totally working himself up into a state of frenzy.

Osiris didn't seem to like her idea at all.

Did Sagira care? No, not at all, because this place had been asking for it from the moment she first laid her eye on it. The first thing she'd thought, when they came here all those years ago, was, in fact...

 _Andal plus dirt bike, please?_ Poor, poor Andal; apparently, he'd been killed while they were away. It was really a bummer; as far as the multitude of Hunter Vanguards they'd had over the years went, he'd been her favorite.

Well... one of her favorites. Kind of. Okay, they had all had a certain amount of charm to them, she had to admit. And getting to be the Ghost of a Hunter, even for just those few days? She wouldn't say 'dream come true'(not where Osiris could hear her, anyway), but it had certainly been... enlightening.

Enlightening towards the fact her Guardian never had any fun for himself. And fun was fun. Fun was so it was decided...

Today, Osiris would have fun. Even if it killed him. Even if Barne's Ghost kept glaring at her, with mutterings of 'Guardian thief'.

"What do you mean!?" he demanded, pacing back and forth(if he had nay hair left, he'd likely have ripped it out by now-just another sign he needed to lay back, he'd never get that full head of hair he wanted if he was always so stressed). Barnes-3, the Exo she'd gone on her little 'adventure' with, sat with his arms crossed on the handles of the dirt bike.

She was finally going to get a Hunter on a dirt bike... in Simulant Past.

This place had been begging for it for a while now.

"I mean, get on the bike, Osiris." she sighed whispily and drifted over to the vehicle. "I simulated it just for you!"

"I am not getting on that, Sagira!" he stood his ground.

"Wow, I only knew her for what-a day?- and even _I_ know you won't win this argument!" Barnes commented with that 'Hunter drawl' to his voice.

"That's because you didn't use a firm hand with her!" Osiris snapped. "You have to let her know you're in charge."

"Hey! I'm right here!" she protested.

"She's not his Ghost!" Barnes' Ghost whined. _He needs to loosen up! I only borrowed his shell, I didn't steal his Guardian!_ Even if it _was_ a little tempting..."And I didn't agree to this either!"

"Well, if you two are going to be a couple of wet blankets... JUST PUNCH IT, BARNES!" she zipped over and planted herself in the Hunter's hood. He hit the gas, revving and popping a wheelie as he set out, Hunter and Ghost(correction-a Ghost that wasn't even his) whooping with glee as they did so.

"ERRRG! I HATE HER!" Barnes' Ghost banged himself against a rock.

"You aren't the only one." the Warlock agreed dryly as the two rode off into the sunset, Barnes pulling a back flip as he crested a hill.

"You know what-how about you and I go on a big fat adventure without them, and see how they like it, huh? That'll make her pay!" the Ghost schemed.

"That would be a very bad idea." he chastised, eyeing the leftover dirt bike. "Almost as bad as riding that deathtrap."

"Huh. You _are_ a wet blanket." he snorted in response, leaving the Warlock to slowly float off towards his Guardian. "I'm going to go kick your Ghost's shell now! Neither of us is bringing a Sparrow in for you!"

Osiris hissed through his teeth, pressing his palm against his forehead. He glared at the bike, and, without any word, and hoping news of this would never reach Ikora's ears(though Sagira would doubtlessly tell her anyway), he swung himself onto the seat.

* * *

 _Just an Osiris and Sagira fluff piece inspired by the fact my dad wished he could used his Sparrow in Simulant Past, lamenting how awesome it would be if he could take a dirt bike through it. This is not, in any way, connected to the Shadows of Calus one-shots building up to my AU, or_ Losing Time, Taking my Own Way Down _, though I might re-use Barnes at some point._

 _Fare Thee Well!_


End file.
